Choices

It's been a few days, but I have been meaning to write about the young girl who I saw die in the emergency department. I have been at Children's for almost 2 weeks now and I haven't seen any really sick or injured kids. I have seen a bunch of developmentally delayed kids or with cancer/chemo, but none acute.
This poor 7 year old was in a car accident. Her father was driving intoxicated and report was he ran into the back of a semi-truck. Another semi hit him from behind and sheered off the side of the car that the girl was in. THe mom, dad, and baby were without injuries. She arrived on Mercy Air. Since I can do what I want there, I went to the top to meet the helicopter as it landed. It didn't look good. She was intubated already, CPR in progress, and I looked at her eyes which were already fixed and dilated. We had lost her already. However we still tried to resuscitate her for about 25 more minutes. She was dead and I knew it before she was brought to the trauma bay.
The mom however, did not know. She had been taken away from the scene by the police. The dad was still in custody--vehicular manslaughter I'm sure. She was brought in, and was told of her daughter's death. It was terrible.
You would think that seeing something like that would make me cry or react emotionally, but I didn't. I suppose it was all so removed from me. I wasn't involved in telling the parents, and we never had a chance at getting her back... It does make me wonder. Am I already so callous or was it just the situation? Will I eventually see so much that none of it makes an impact?