Meaning of Life

I have been meaning to write about my surgery rotation while it was still fresh in my mind, but somehow having a few moments of free time to go to my friend's wedding, drink excessively, pack, search for a new car, grocery shop, start a new rotation, exercise, reconnect with hubby and dog has taken up all of my time. Oh well, I am still going to write about it, because maybe if I can capture the horror of the rotation it will be something I can go back and read about when I am feeling sorry that I didn't do orthopedic surgery.
How do I put my finger on "the surgeon mentality." Is it unfair to catagorize a whole group of people in one way? Just as I believe that there is a little truth behind every joke (Gary hates it when I say this), I also believe that there is a truth behind every stereotype. So how and why do surgeons have this cold, abrupt, hard-driven, even malicious stereotype. What is it about their day to day interactions that causes this perception. Here are my observations for what it is worth:
1. In surgery, you dispense with all pleasantries with your co-workers. When you come into work in the morning, there are no "Hey Siobhan, how was your night? Have a good run? Any plans for the weekend?" No. Simply, come in the door and hit the ground running. If we have a free moment, mostly the surgeons just talk about their surgeries, or lack of sleep, or how much they still have to do. Occasionally, there is some disparaging comments regarding other services or the nurses.
2. Introductions? Forget about it. People come and go, and noone gives a shit who you are. You are your job. This is the Attending Dr. So and So. This is the Resident, This is the intern. You are there to do your job and know your role, and don't step over your role. Never in any situation, do you bypass your resident and ask the attending a question directly.
3. Surgeons pride themselves on their short notes. This bugged me. Why can't I have a note from a consulting service that actually says what the hell we are supposed to do? This seems incredibly important to me since when you page a surgeon they rarely answer (because in the OR I assume). This causes a lot of patient discharging problems. It is very hard for an intern to know the discharge plan on a neurosurgical patient's spinal fracture and herniation.
4. Surgeons avoid patient contact at all cost. It wastes valuable time. In their defense, they do have precious little time. They have to do surgeries all day, which I understand. So many times during my rotation, I am called to a bedside of a patient (that I don't know because I am cross-covering and on call), and the patient is being discharged and they have no idea what is going on. The conversation goes something like this. Patient: "I had no idea I was being discharged today, then the nurse brings in my discharge papers and I have never even seen a doctor." Me: "Oh, I'm sorry about that Mr. Smith, let me just go check in the chart and I will let you know what is going on." I go to the chart, which says nothing. I page the consulting physicians with no reply. I go back to the room "Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, follow up in 1 week, blah, blah, blah, I have no real idea because I'm an intern, make up some more stuff, I apologize you have not seen a physician until now, reassure, reassure."
5. Surgeons have a sense of pride about how much they work. The more work they do, the longer they stay in the hospital, the better doctor and better person they are. They also brag about never sleeping and not needing sleep. They think "balance" is a 4 letter word.
6. Surgeons don't eat. At least, not sitting down. Somehow, their supreme intellect and capacity to save lives have rendered them impervious to malnutrition. This may account for their lack of need to urinate or defecate.
7. Surgeons like to say things like: "Why is this taking you so long, it should take 2 minutes." "End of discussion, there will be no debate about this." "That is why they are nurses and we are doctors" "Get someone over here who knows what they are doing."

Well, I was going to write 10 things, but now my little Lander is causing a commotion and I need to take him out. This should be enough to remind me, that though surgery is "cool", nothing is that cool.