The Choices We Make

Gary and I have purchased our first home. What would seem on the cheap side for San Deigo is on the expensive side for Portland. It's all relative, right? We love it! I think we have found a place that is perfect for us in nearly every way.  The house itself is lovely, bright and modern, lots of natural light and in a culdesac.  The neighbors are great and friendly (except for the surgeon couple we never see...).  The neighborhood is the best part.  We are within walking distance to a large urban park...which is actually a big forest with hiking and biking trails, and another park that has a trail that goes to the zoo and children's museum! If we walk the other way we are in the city after a 1/2 mile.  Yesterday we went to 23rd street which is our local "hip" street and got on the streetcar to go downtown.  While doing anything with the girls is a challenge it was so cool to be downtown. Roxanna loved the city...that crazy girl is really exercising her independence.  She wants to just run around like a crazy kid and doesn't want to hold my hand...challenging.  It was cool for me because I haven't lived IN A CITY, just on outskirts.  Gary loved it, reminded him of Being in NY (though doesn't compare clearly).  On the way home we stopped at Powells for some books (roxanna insisted on a Dora book of all things), and then stopped at our favorite brewpub for a Growler.  I then made a chipotle tequila cilantro chicken pasta (made it up) and then relaxed with a beer after kids were in bed.  It was a Thursday.  Today we are heading to the mountain for some sledding and hot chocolate. I work the weekend. ..

You see, our lifestyle now is great.  I work hard but not an excessive amount.  While my ideal situation would be to work only 2 shifts/ month this isn't reasonable given the money we spend and debt we have (we spend way too much!).  Gary has been doing a great job staying at home with the kids but at times feels isolated and wants to return to the workforce...adding to that the cost of the home we purchased we thought about him returning to work.  So, he got a job! He was offered a job to be the Director of Operations of a Sports PHysical Therapy Company...and he declined the offer.   Crazy? Maybe. 

What a cliche to say but how true it is to say how fast our kids grow up.  Roxanna is 2! Already! Georgia is no longer my little infant.  Blink and it's gone.  Does Gary want to work from 8-6 and only see the kids for an hour before their bedtime except on weekends when I'll be working? Do we want to rush around trying to arrange childcare?  What are our priorities?  Yes, we are lucky that we can decline a good paying job, and yes we have a tremendous amount of debt...but these precious years before they start school are the most formative years of their little lives.  We both agree that a parent should be home with them if possible.  While I wish it were me staying home, that is crazy...so for now, I content myself in knowing that no one can give them the love, nurturing and stability that their daddy can and work isn't going anywhere.  When they are in school, we have all the time in the world to join the rat race...it isn't going anywhere, but their childhood is. 

Aloha Kauai!

Well this isn't truly Aloha as we have 3 more days here, but our time here is basically over.  We have had a great month and are ready now to go home.  We thought that maybe being here for a month would make us want to move here, but the opposite was true...we realized that it isn't the place for us despite the amazing beauty.  

Roxanna on the other hand will likely not want to leave. She is a beach baby for sure!  I need to take a video of her running fearlessly into the ocean, but I'm too busy keeping her from drowning! No matter how many times she has gone under the water, she never cries and is just ready for more. It is adorable!  Nap time has never been easier because by 11 she is so exhausted from beach and sun (as are we!).  She is crazy now and will run circles around the cottage to release more energy ( where does it come from?). She learns new words daily, today it was "banana" and "up". Yesterday it was "eye".  And she finally learned "no" and is putting it to good use!  Still loves her baby sister and takes a break from her running around to come over and give a hug or point to a body part (her favorite game is learning all the body parts!). 

Georgia is an easy baby...there, I officially jinxed myself.  She rarely cries and already can go 6-7 hours at night without eating.  She loves baby massage and is now smiling! I love it!  I did finally put her in the water and it went well...no crying! Lucky baby, swimming in Hawaii at 6 weeks!

Our friend Rori flew to Kauai to be with us for a week and it was so nice to have her here.  She was at Roxannas birth and I think she liked getting to know her again as a toddler as well as meeting Georgia. it was nice for Gary and I to have an extra hand and we even got to go on a date!  We tossed around a bunch of ideas about what we should do on our date but all I really wanted to do was hike the Na Pali coast trail as I heard it was amazing, and sure enough it did not disappoint! We could only do 4 miles of the 11 mile trail but I've never seen such beauty.  It was hard for me as it is all up and down but I wish I could do it again. The picture truly do not do it justice!

One last thing to do before our Final Aloha, try to snorkel with a turtle at Ke'e beach.  It's been a good month and we will be back!

Kauai jungle bird

In retrospect, Kauai was probably not the best place to go for maternity leave.  The weather is great, the baby beach is perfect, and atmosphere is relaxed...but the main problem are those damn roosters.  They are EVERYWHERE!!!  In the morning on my 2 mile walk/run I will see conservatively 50 chickens and roosters.  Our yard has at least 2-3 resident roosters with a few hens and chicks. To a mom trying to get some sleep in between nursing, adding loud rooster crowing starting anywhere from between 1 am to 4 am and continuing the rest of the night makes for a very sleepy mom.  What's worse is they wake up the babies too and of course Gary so we are all a little sleep deprived.  We have taken to getting up early...like 5 am and going to bed at 8 ish. Why The residents of Kauai would allow this wild rooster infestation is beyond me.  I'm sure if you were in the resorts, they wouldn't bother you but we are in a very local area and it is maddening!   My saving grace is darling Georgia is an easy baby and has fallen into a fairly regular night routine, nurse around 8 and will sleep until 2 ( unless roosters start earlier...), nurse at 2 and 5 am, then I'm up for the day around 5.   Sometimes will be up for the day at 2 if roosters are especially vocal.  

My dear friend Rori has come to Kauai for the week to help with the girls and enjoy the island. It has been so nice to have her here to help and to visit.  It is making both Gary and I more relaxed and Roxanna loves her...maybe she remembers her from my delivery as she was at Roxannas birth!  We have a car again and are having fun exploring the island a bit! 

Georgia is almost 6 weeks and is growing so fast...11 lbs today on home scale!  Crazy!

Kauai!

Ive  lost track of the days already here. We have been trying to get into a routine but with 2 babies there is still so much to do!  I remember when Roxanna was born I would just hold, rock and nurse her for like the first 6 weeks and Gary would take care of everything. Now it's been less than a month since Georgia was born and I'm finding it harder to focus on her.  Roxanna is at an age that she needs constant supervision and attention, and is just the cutest little toddler ever!  She is learning new words daily and her little personality is emerging.  She still loves Georgia but hasn't completely realized how to be "gentle" with her.  We are learning how to be a family of 4!

We are staying in Kapaa which is not a huge tourist Mecca here, much more local which is nice in a way. We rented a car for the first few days to get settled.  Bought a double stroller, bicycle, outdoor toys for Roxanna at garage sale.  Got groceries at Safeway as well as local farmers market and got some yummy fish at a fish market.  We took a drive to Hanalei bay which is very beautiful. The town of Hanalei is very cute.  It is in a lovely tropical setting and really seems like a perfect "paradise" town.  I kind of wish we would have stayed there but would have been a fortune to stay on the water there. 

We are enjoying being on the beach and it makes it so convenient with the girls.  We can just pop over for a quick dip without making a big fuss of everything.  This morning we saw a monk seal...you can see it in the picture of Georgia, Gary and Roxanna if you look closely.  Another cool thing is the bike path which starts at our place and goes along the beach for I think 6.5 miles.   We can walk to dinner easily.  Gary is trying to catch some fish, he took the sunrise pic above this am in front of our cottage.   The first day here we met a local couple at the beach and the man is a commercial fisherman who invited Gary to go fishing with him...he is super excited about that. 

So far so good..having some sticker shock at the price of food but will get by!

A whole new flying experience.

Aloha!  We are here in Kauai and just settling in.  I think Gary was going to kill me for coming up with this plan on the way over...the flight was not a great experience.  In retrospect I should have booked a direct flight...I probably didn't because of the price, but 2.5 hrs to LA then 4 hr layover and another 6 hr flight here was just too much for us.  One of us in particular...poor Roxanna was a mess!   Too much for an 18 month old!  She took a brief nap during our layover but we could not get her to sleep on the last flight...and believe me we tried!   Thank god for iPads and Dora the Explorer!  She had to be managed constantly and had intermittent breakdowns.  To make matters worse, she is becoming more clingy on me since Georgia was born and when she is tired it is amplified, so she wanted me mostly but I had Georgia most of the time.  It was a juggling act and Gary intermittently interjecting comments like "I'm never flying with babies again" or "this was your idea" while trying to read her green eggs and ham while she shrieks and throws the book.  Ugh...but we survived and a lady behind us even commented how good the babies were...really?  Well Georgia simply slept and nursed so that was easy. 

  After picking up rental car (which took forever on Hawaiian time),  we drove to house, Rox had fallen asleep but woke up halfway there and was just crying because she was so tired, this made Georgia cry and made Gary and I want to cry... we were supposed to go pick up a pack n play from lady off craigslist but detoured to our rental house so I could settle the girls and Gary continued on to get the pack n play (it is now 9:30 kauai time and 12:30 our time.)

I've been exhausted many many times with work and babies, but arriving to out rental house stands out as a top 5 in my exhaustion scales.  I noticed the place was cute, the ocean sound was great and air was lovely.  I attempted to put roxanna on bed to sleep but she only wanted to be held or would cry.  She was so tired!  After about 15 minutes though she kind of snapped out of it, looked around and wanted to play with everything.  Kids are funny! Now she is running around happy and giggling with big bags under her eyes from intense crying and sleep deprivation! 

Gary returns with pack n play, and now Roxanna is a wild monkey shrieking and getting into everything with intermittent breakdowns thrown in.  Pack n play goes up, she makes a brief attempt to fight going into it and then crashes...aah finally!  Georgia is sleeping with me in one room in a cosleeper, I get her to sleep and then get the best 3 hrs of sleep ever before she wakes up!  

Will have to write about Kauai later, Rox is waking up and Gary is on a run.  A shot of beach cottage and view from porch.

Runaway train

This is Georgia's birth story. I keep an electronic journal for both the girls and I wrote this for Georgia.  Will post here as well. As a mom I enjoy hearing birth stories, so people can read if interested:

Happy birthday baby girl!  I got to meet you yesterday and remembered what it is like to fall in love all over again!   We named you Georgia Linn and you are so sweet and just perfect.

Your birth story:

Your due date was July 19 by ultrasound and July 22 by my last menstrual cycle so technically you were born right on time.  On the 21st my water broke right after my nap at around 2:30 in the afternoon.   I was very excited because I knew you would be born at least in the next 24 hours.  I wasn't contracting and contacted my midwife who told me to stay home for 12 hrs and come in after that unless my contractions are every 5 minutes.   So we ordered some food, went on a walk,I  listened to my relaxation music and watched TV.   I went to bed around 10, unfortunately i wasn't able to sleep because my contractions started just enough to keep me up. So around 4:30 I got up and we were on our way to the hospitAl.  I called the hospital OHSU to let them know we were on our way when they told us they had no beds and I had to go to a different hospital!  I was quite upset... 9 months of driving an hour one way to see my midwife all for nothing and now I had to go somewhere else!   So we decided on providence St. Vincent hospital because they had midwife program and a level 3 NICU ( just in case). We checked in around 6 am and met the obstetrician on call Dr. Hendrickson.  I could not see a midwife since I hadn't gotten my prenatal care there.  We liked Dr. Hendrickson and when she confirmed no beds at Ohsu we got settled to have our baby there.  We met our nurse Heidi who was great and had 2 natural deliveries and we felt comfortable and gave her our birth plan..  We decided to eat breakfast and see if my contractions would  advance and get some sleep.  I wasn't able to sleep because continued to have contractions just not too regular.  

Around 12:30 we decided to start pitocin to augment my contractions because I was dilated only 4 cm (and had been since my last prenatal visit).  I was very reluctant to start pitocin because I really wanted a natural delivery and had no confidence I could do it on pitocin...I read a lot about it and know it causes severe contractions and doesn't give your body the time to work up to it.  I had it with Roxanna and had contractions that were painful and got an epidural.  however for that delivery i had never even considered a natural delivery.  But, it was nearing 24 hours since my  water broke and there is concern for infection the longer you wait to deliver and typical cut off is 24 hours.  So we agreed to pitocin.   I think it started at 1 pm at a low dose 2 units/ hr.  I started harder contractions immediately but could handle them if I was standing.  After 20 minutes they turned it up to 4 and the contractions got much harder and closer together.   Now I wanted to be in the shower so I would stand in the shower and have water run over me when I had a contraction.  They were 2 minutes apart I am guessing but hard to be sure...the pain was pretty profound.  Another 20 minutes and they turned it up to 6 units/ hr and I lost all control of time and situation.  The contractions now felt continuous without a break and I started vomiting in the shower.  I could barely speak and Gary was concerned and called the nurse in.  I told him I had to have an epidural because I couldn't fathom multiple hours of this pain.  You know the scene in Princess Bride where Wesley is being tortured and they turn the machine all the way up...that's how I felt.   My nurse said she thought I looked like I was near complete and would check me, if I was close then wouldn't need epidural but she called anesthesia right away anyway.  She checked and I was only 6 cm...I wanted some pain relief!   The anesthesiologist came right away and it took every ounce of my self control to sit to get the epidural.  Like I said there were no breaks in contractions just constant pain with intermittent spikes and my anesthesiologist had a hard time doing epidural because I would tense up and move...it was impossible not to.  They gave me fentanyl to help me sit still.   Not sure how long it took him...maybe 20 minutes.  When he was done I stood up and said "I need to push". The anesthesiologist looked shocked, they checked me and said the head was right there and I was complete.   I was told I wouldn't get that much relief for 15 minutes so not sure if will help but will take the edge off.    Obstetrician came in and I pushed for 20 minutes I was told.  I could feel you move down which I could not feel when I had Roxanna.  I felt and saw your head and was told the cord was around your neck and it was tight and couldn't be reduced.  Then the OB doctor stood up and said " you are going to feel some pressure". I guess your shoulder was stuck and was also entangled in the cord.  My nurse called for more help. your daddy said she had to reach inside me and untangle cord and dislodge your arm...he was worried that she broke your arm!  You came out and your daddy cut the cord and announced "It's  a girl!"    It was 2:51 pm.  But they were concerned because you didn't cry immediately and instead of putting you to my chest, they took you to the bassinet to check you out.  You were fine and perked up less than a minute.  Your apgars were 8 and 9 and you were then given to me.    You were wide awake and wanted to nurse immediately!  It was amazing!  So different then Roxanna who was so sleepy.  You nursed for almost an hour and then they weighed and measured you...7 lbs 4 ounces, 19 3/4 inches.    Then you were all mine.  We knew your name of course would be Georgia Linn.  Your daddy was so excited and emotional and loved you instantly!  My nurse said my labor was like a "runaway train" and that's exactly how it felt .  I was so happy you were healthy that even though my labor wasn't "as planned" it didn't matter because now you are in my arms and I love you more than I can say. 

Waiting Game

So this has been a very long month already...you know the saying " a watched pot never boils" ...I am waiting every day for the new baby to be born but he/she must be very comfortable just where he or she is.  I have had so many false alarms that now I am just nearly giving up.  The funny part is my due date is not really until July 19, tomorrow...but in my head this one should be born around the same time as Roxanna so in that case I'm over 2 weeks late!!

So we spend the days doing errands, going on small walks, watching TV and enjoying Roxanna. Perhaps I should consider it a blessing, this baby is giving me a couple of weeks of uninterrupted Roxanna time.  Gary is teaching her lacrosse, I'm teaching her to bake and she is learning to take care of her new baby doll...